Perennials and green sprouts: Living and growing with HIV — 

by Epstein, author and resident, Clare Housing

As winter ends, and the days get longer, we start to see green sprouts. I think about new beginnings in the garden. As I write this piece I’m thinking of Clare Housing’s long term survivors of HIV/AIDS as perennials and our newly diagnosed individuals as green sprouts.

Most of us “perennials” have developed good root systems and stable holdings. Many have established a positive working relationship with a doctor and health care team. Usually they may also have a set regimen of medications to be taken at intervals in the day. Sometimes those regimens fail, and new strategies or roots must be cultivated. The perennials are used to being poked, prodded and bled.

Still, underneath the surface of HIV lies the syndrome we know as AIDS, a darker and much more sinister enemy. We have the battle scars to prove it. Perennials need tools and weapons to fight it.

Flowers surround a garden statue in the yard at Grace House II.

Flowers surround a garden statue in the yard at Grace House II.

The old roots fail; new roots appear but sometimes have difficulty assimilating. The perennials, long term survivors, are daily warriors. Our tenacity is like the snowdrop’s that push through chilled ground to bloom in early spring.

The sprouts, those newly diagnosed, are tender young seedlings. Everything they knew before doesn’t really prepare them. Despite their naivety they must understand the disease. Regardless of their age they must learn the language and lifestyle of days with HIV.

They are searching for doctors who will work with them, learning what drug regimen will be effective, experiencing many and varied side effects as they are poked, prodded and bled to find the right combination that will work for them. Many will be fighting to beat depression, and re-learning their role or right to be alive.

The green sprouts often need to find a personal drive to survive the frequently harsh environment, suffering through the confusion of not knowing what the future holds. Some seek support from family, friends, colleagues, doctors and members of the clergy. Or perhaps isolation occurs, and great loneliness.

With luck, with encouragement and care, these green sprouts can take hold in the community, and soon their growth shows taller and ever more full of life, confidence and health, despite the challenges of their new status.

Looking outside through the window I see the garden. It looks forlorn as winter comes to an end. Gray and brown leaves; broken stems covered by patches of dirty snow. But within weeks sun and rain will warm the ground. Glimpses of bright green will appear in unexpected places.

The days will grow longer. Shopping trips to the garden center where the riot of colors is dazzling. Bedding plants and plants shared by friends are added to the garden. The plants from before blend with the new additions. Colors dot the garden; a mosaic needing opportunity and nurturing.