Wrestling with it – and Winning: Mariah Wilberg’s Victory over Stigma — 

Some people begin supporting a nonprofit because it’s in their neighborhood, or a friend asks them to. For board member Mariah Wilberg, supporting Clare Housing is deeply personal.  

Not too long ago Mariah was living a story that many of our residents can identify with. She generously shared that story with us during a recent interview.

Mariah was diagnosed HIV positive at age 19. At that time, she had dealt with more trauma than many do in a lifetime. Months prior to her diagnosis, Mariah was a homeless teen. Engaging in sex work to survive, she took drugs to cope with her reality.

The news came at a moment of relative stability. She was off the streets at least. However, the relationship that enabled her to have a home was an abusive one. When Mariah got the news about her diagnosis, she didn’t even know she was being tested. She had come in for a doctor’s visit because she’d recently found out she was pregnant.

Once she knew her diagnosis Mariah’s focus became giving birth to a healthy baby, which she did. Her daughter was born HIV negative 9 months later. However, after her daughter was born, the emotional turmoil brought about by her diagnosis was difficult to deal with. Mariah fell out of care. She was once again homeless, living in hotel rooms, cars, sometimes outside.

“It’s hard to care when you’re homeless and in survival mode,” Mariah explained. Stigma made it even harder. A friend began to gossip about her after discovering her medications. “It wasn’t HIV that was killing me,” Mariah says. “It was my own refusal to deal with it.”

That refusal to deal with it caught up with her a few years later when she was diagnosed with AIDS while serving time on drug charges. It was at this point that Mariah decided to be open about her status, and to begin using that openness as a tool to empower herself, and other people, particularly women living with HIV.

Housing First, and Community: The Two Biggest Reasons Mariah Joined Our Board

Because of her background, Mariah was happy when she was approached about serving on the Clare Housing board of directors. However, it was finding out that Clare Housing takes a “housing first” approach to its work that convinced her that this was the nonprofit to support. A housing first approach would have been hugely beneficial to her younger self during her most challenging times.

Housing first organizations get people into a safe home, before addressing co-occurring challenges like mental health problems and/or substance abuse. You might be surprised to know that until fairly recently, many shelters and affordable housing projects make sobriety a condition before you receive help.

“It makes such a huge difference,” Mariah explained. “When you’re homeless and dealing with a drug addiction, you need to be safe first before you can figure things out.” Sixty-five percent of Clare Housing residents report a past history of substance abuse, according to our 2015 reporting. In Mariah’s story there are echoes of so many others.

In addition to taking a housing first approach, Mariah appreciates that Clare Housing emphasizes creating community for residents. “The root cause of addiction is often isolation paired with trauma. Ending isolation is essential,” Mariah said. “At places like Clare Housing you can have that sense of community, and then the drug is not your only friend.”

Wrestling with Stigma – and Winning

Despite the hardship Mariah dealt with as a teen and young adult, her life looks much different now. Married and working full time while going to school, Mariah also does a lot of public speaking as an advocate for people living with HIV. Each speech that she makes, each conversation that she has is a triumph over the stigma that once held her back.

When asked about what she wishes she could say to her younger recently diagnosed self, she wishes that she could have told herself not to be ashamed. Her current advocacy work is helping people like her, particularly young women, to end their own internalized stigma and to seek help.

A Hope for the Future of HIV

Mariah attended the opening of Clare Terrace in Robbinsdale on World AIDS Day, where she participated in our time capsule activity by writing down her hopes for the future of HIV on a note card.

When asked again what her hopes are for HIV/AIDS over the next 100 years, she says that in addition to hoping for a vaccine and a cure, she hopes that someday soon every person diagnosed with HIV is offered comprehensive services including housing, mental health, and thorough education about the virus.

Thanks to outspoken advocates like Mariah, and the support of community members like you, we will continue our work to help make Mariah’s vision a reality. In the meantime, we feel incredibly fortunate to have her leadership on our board of directors.