Clare House Reflections — December 18, 2012

Clare Housing

Reflection From Clare House Volunteer  – Mark Bishop

I’m originally from Florida and grew up living close to the beach.  That environment had certain benefits, but lacked something that Minnesotans know very well – seasons!  Fall is wonderful – crisp days, beautiful colors – but fall also means that something is ending and something else is coming soon.  I won’t use the “w-word”, but you know what I mean.  The reality that things are changing and that things have an ending is one of the great lessons the seasons teach.

My last meal  I cooked for the residents at Clare House was October 17, 2012.  Jeavette and Doug moved out the next day.  Except for the boxes and a few things not in their normal places, dinner was as it had been for the last 6 years.  Eating, laughing, joking, stories.   After dinner, Starr and I loaded up an old rocking chair into my truck (that has been honored to haul a variety of things over the years) and we headed out to drop it off at her apartment.  As we were driving up St. Clair Avenue, it was pretty clear – that was it.

Back in 2006, I began an amazing chapter of my life– Clare House.  Seeking nothing more than an opportunity to “be with” some folks that were different from me and wanting deeply to let that experience and environment do its work, I’ve had the privilege of cooking and eating with some of the best friends I’ve ever had.  It was very important to me to spend time at the house, certainly with an intention of helping where I could, but mainly to slow down and take in each hug and handshake and each story that needed an ear to hear it.

Memories at Clare House include watching in horror after dinner with everyone as the 35W bridge collapsed.  We couldn’t believe what we were seeing.  Bringing my two girls with me on Saturday mornings while I did some yard work and laughing when Vicki would haul them around the back yard in a red wagon.  Getting some friends from my office to come over to build some retaining walls and edging around the front yard and seeing the smiles on their faces after all the work was done.  And James really, really liking chocolate chip cookies.  I could go on . . .

If you’re reading this and smiling, you probably have your own incredible memories from another time and place – perhaps even from Clare House.  Yes, Clare Housing exists to provide affordable housing and care to people living with HIV/AIDS.  But Clare Housing also exists to put people like me into the world of those who need that place to live.  And when I was in their home, it was really, really good.

Mark was recently nominated to join Clare Housing’s board of directors.

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Spirited House by Clare House lead caregiver, Starr Emery

It was a bittersweet day when I left 2182 St. Clair.

The house had a great healing spirit. The house was a spirit in itself.

We served many residents at Clare House who showed such great strength in their journey through life. I came to HIV direct care back in 1997 when I wanted to see “the other side of AIDS”.  I was working in prevention and took direct care on as a challenge.I played the role of caregiver but feel like I was a student, and residents each had something to teach me. We work hard to support the best quality of life for those who struggle to find light.

The spirit of the garden was nourishing to many. I saw personal growth while residents planted bulbs. Looking forward to the flowers gave residents a reason to look forward to the future.

The spirit of living without regret is priceless. One of the greatest gifts I received was the privilege of being present during the end of life journey. I cannot put words to how much this has meant to me.

What would we have done without the kind hearts of our volunteers? I have hopefully . . .

In the spirit of living without regret, thanked them all profusely. They nourished through meals, garden help and unbiased kindness.

Tusen Takk (a thousand thanks in Norwegian) to all that spirited house, the residents and volunteers gave me!

Starr is now the lead caregiver at Agape Home where two of the residents from Clare House now live.

Thank you to all of the staff and volunteers who were part of the Clare House Family.

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On December 5, 2012, St. Paul neighborhood newspaper, The Villager, published a story on the history of Clare House.  To read the article click on the image below.